Bring On 2008

Goodbye 2007.

As 2007 makes an exit, I too will be making mine; from home that is. I am deeply sad about bidding farewell to great food, to my kitties, to my family, to warm weather, to all things nice, to home *sobs* O how I will miss everyone and everything here.

But this is also the time to usher in the New Year. A toast to new beginnings. A clean slate.

Hello 2008.

Sadness notwithstanding, I am looking forward to starting a-new. Got myself a new diary to keep me organised. A new notebook to jot down notes, thoughts, expenses, to-do lists, other whathaveyous. 2008 looks promising.

Having said that, I am not very good at making New Year resos. Neither am I good at keeping them, so for what it’s worth here is mine, in no particular order:

1, To become active in RSC again

2, To find a suitable photography class that does not do too much damage to the pocket

3, To enjoy my role with JT

4, To be healthier, food wise – I need to up my intake on fruit and veg. I have stocked up on EPO and spirulina for a start

5, To be happy, thankful and optimistic with life at all times

I have made five very simple resos (you can tell I’m not very ambitious huh). Let’s see how this goes.

Finally, as my last post for 2007, I wish everyone all the very best for 2008, may you have a great year ahead, see you over in Blighty soon.

Sinful Indulgence

As with everybody else, I too have been over-eating during this holiday season but the only difference is that I have no regrets. Well, not until I get home and find the need to inhale deeply before I can zip up my work trousers next week, that is. Enjoy now, worry later I say.

We had some really yummylicious Chinese food for Sunday lunch; the dim sum spread and yam basket was oh so divine. For dinner, we went in search of ramly burger – chicken special to satisfy our craving for that tasty chicken burger wrapped in egg topped with salad and tomato sauce, no onions for me.

On Monday we had the big breakfast at La Bodega and after spending too much at the sales in Midvalley, we proceeded to everyone’s favourite Siamese resto - Sri Ayuthayya; highlights are their lemon grass prawns and kerabu mangga.

I was off to Kota Bharu to visit the in laws on Tuesday + Wednesday, and here, we were fed with local grub for two days non stop. As we had lunch, dinner plans were already discussed. Suffice to say we had enough nasi ulam to last us for the next six months. But I’m not complaining; I will be heading back to land of bland food soon.

There is a great Chinese resto in KB, Four Season, worth a mention I think. The food was really delicious; we polished off every morsel and left nothing on the plate, not even a crumb. I loved their deep fried hot and spicy siakap and the fried chicken with mangoes (similar to the kerabu mangga you’d get in a Siamese shop). Wish I could cook up dishes like that!

Today we had Monterey chicken and the chocolate brownie sundae for lunch. In between there was nasi lemak, rojak buah and tahu bakar. When will this sinful gastro experience end?

I fear I will not fit into any of my clothes at the rate I am going. Other people indulged on merely one day - Christmas, Eid, etc. I have been indulging slash over-eating and am still continuing to indulge slash over-eat for the past seven days. Must practice some restrain; if not for spiritual purpose, at least for the physical aspect i.e. piling on the extra kilos yikes.

As I write this I am counting the days before I have to leave home. It will be with a heavy heart. This whole week has just flown by (as I had anticipated it to) and I have merely a few more days until I leave. I still have quite a bit to do in between. I have been trying to spend as much time as I can with Winnie but I fear it is (and will) not be enough. I am certainly not looking forward to going back to the gloomy weather.

I try to make myself feel better by listing out things to look forward to H1 08 (Can't believe it will be 2008 in three days):

1. NYC in Jan 08
2. Some travels + beach holiday (dying to sink my feet in some sand)
3. Bonus pay out and hopefully a decent salary increment *fingers crossed*

In the meantime I should really block out the negative thoughts and enjoy the here and now.

Playing Papparazi

Yes I have been an annoying shutterbug to these two bag of fun furballs!

They have been a sport posing-schmosing for me but clearly from their expression they are not one bit amused *tee hee hee*



I hope that everyone is enjoying the holiday season as much as I am.

Here's wishing everyone a very Cherry Mistmas!

I Am Home

And extremely jet lagged.

We arrived Saturday morning to be greeted by ketupat, kuah kacang, beef and chicken rendang for brunch at home. Post Hari Raya Haji celebrations you could say. Yummy.

I then slept through from 11ish am till about 5pm. Despite this being a holiday I cannot help but feel 'what a waste of precious cat/family time' to spend six hours on sleep.

Although to be fair, I was already very tired before we came home - hectic work schedule, been sleep-deprived (early mornings and late nights to pack and clear home before hols), I have also been down with the flu bug and a sore throat since Wednesday.

I have been diligently taking my course of antibiotics in the hopes of clearing the throat very very soon; after all what is a holiday back home minus the delish spicy and oily local grub!

Today I had nasi lemak (kurang sambal to ease the spicy-ness) and lepat ubi kayu for breakfast but I had to forego the roti canai and karipap.

For lunch, steamboat. Again, minus the usual red hot sauce that I would normally dunk everything in copious amounts. Bummer.

Everything in moderation. Bah.

Last night I went to bed at half past ten and woke up at 3am looking for my other bed partner, Winnie, who I am guessing went out through the window to have a pee (or a poo, who knows?). She was back in half an hour later but then I had problems falling back asleep until maybe 5 or 6am and only managed to force myself out of bed at 9am. I am now surfing the net to avoid nodding off too early as I want to regularise my body clock to Malaysia time - need to be up early tomorrow; lots to do (and eat).

Looking forward to tomorrow; I am on a pursuit – all food related obviously!

Note to self: Day 2, 8 more to go.

Leaving On A Jet Plane

Tomorrow we depart for Kuala Lumpur.

I'm ever so thankful to be able to flee the cold weather, albeit momentarily. The ten days will be fleeting but I shall cherish every minute of my time at home.

Farewell London, see you in 2008!

2007: The Year That Was

I think this is a timely post to reflect on the past 12 months.

This year has been (not unlike previous year), yet again, a year of sorts; lots of celebratory and happy happy joy joy moments laced with some minor (nothing life-threatening but sorrowful nonetheless) tribulations which I am guessing happens to help plant my feet firmly to the ground.

Let’s see, I achieved quite a bit of travelling, played host to visitors from far and near, managed to persevere in my job despite the ‘challenges’ and polished on my new found interest – photography.

I have been truly blessed – got to go home twice this year and if all go as planned, I will be going home again for 10 days end of this week yahoo. *fingers crossed* Winnie, Cleo, satay, sri ayutthaya, vanilla teh tarik, here I come!

Managed to catch a few fab musicals – Avenue Q, Mamma Mia, Lion King and the Sound of Music. I heart musicals. Hopefully Grease, Mary Poppins, Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera for 2008?

This is also the year I got addicted to mukabuku. To be fair, I did get reunited with friends from school I have not seen/spoken to since 1991 thanks to FB. Met so many displaced buddies who I’d never imagine I could get in touch again especially since (almost) everyone is either in Hong Kong or Australia I’ve discovered. And some great ex colleagues too.

I started this unknown journey of being a ‘blogger’ (still not full fledged yet ) which has been a good cure for lonely cold nights and along the way I was fortunate to have made some lovely virtual friends which has been tres fun. So far so good.

I even managed to organise and host an ‘open house’ albeit very small in scale. Mumsy would be proud.

Very briefly, the downside has been mostly work-related; the work pressure and surviving the two restructuring exercises. To-date it has been a roller coaster ride. There were times when it got too much but this has been manageable thanks to IK’s enduring support. But on rare magical moments like today, when he said OK and threw in a surprise ‘cherry-on-cake’ element, has made me think that all the commitment has thankfully been recognised/rewarded (but was the angst/stress thrown my way really necessary?).

Another downside - problem that was diagnosed by the dermy but sadly a cure has not been found for it since. I have made a conscious decision to allow my body let it take its course along the road to recovery at its own pace and will not interfere anymore. OK so maybe I have given up a little bit.

Neck/shoulder/back injuries in April and again recently but they have been sorted by physio sessions. Must must must improve posture.

Those were some trials but I don’t think it is justifiable to dwell on them too much as I have been blessed with endless opportunities/murah rezeki and they really are too negligible to mention when you think about the less fortunate. My so called problems seems so insignificant compared to what some have to go through. Big picture I remind myself.

Alas, I turn 34 next year. OMG OMG OMG. For once in my life I am emotionally affected by my age. I truly feel like a dinosaur. Turning 30, 31, 32 and 33 had never bothered me then, but turning 34 just seem so so so old. So aged. So elderly. So ancient.

Age notwithstanding (depending on my mood, I still have a good 8 - 9 months to be in denial or start to learn to accept reality), I look forward to what 2008 will bring.

Happy 2008 everyone!

Festive Season

Pre Boxing Day sales have begun but I must resist.

***

We had Prince’s family over for lunch on Saturday to reciprocate the many invites over at their home. That kept me busy from Thursday - planning, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking and entertaining - right through to Saturday evening.

All went well and we ended our day with x factor; felt a little guilty rooting for Leon and not the Welsh chap yikes.

***

The whole debacle is slowly subsiding, although there were (and more coming?) many awkward a-times in between like the Christmas lunch last Thursday. I was practically choking on my food.

Anyways enough of dwelling on this matter, life must go on regardless. The quicker I get used to the situation, the better.

Trying Times

"Complacency is a far more dangerous attitude than outrage."

- Naomi Littlebear

***

It took an enormous amount of courage and I know I did the right thing but why do I feel so troubled by this whole situation?

Declared War On France

I did it.

I pulled the plug so to speak.

I completely stood my ground.

I have nothing to lose. But they do and yet they forget.

I am immensely relieved but at the same time emotionally exhausted. Been wondering how I would cope with the week ahead?

It will not be easy this much I know.

Stress No More

I am overjoyed.

Today marks the end of my month long misery. No more rcsa to think about for the next three months.

It's all been done done done. I can breathe a big fat sigh of relief. Huzzah.

Now, on to other items/tasks on to-do list.

***

I had a physio sesh on Tuesday and the follow up will be on Friday.

Look forward to that as I'm sure after a few more sesh, I will not experience anymore discomfort whilst sleeping. Further more, according to the therapist, stress may have aggravated the matter. Now with rcsa gone, I can hope for a speedy recovery on my current condition.

For now, must remember neck exercises and good posture at work.

Rough Week

We have both had a rough week at the wharf. IK was on study leave last week and had been revising laboriously for his 6 hour exams. I bade him good luck this morning and he is still in the exam hall as we speak.

I, on the other hand, have had so many things on my plate at work that I have been losing precious sleep at night feeling overwhelmed thinking about the pile of paper work I had to face each morning. Work has been hell. Demanding. Stressful.

Stressful really is an understatement.

It does not help that I have an appalling team to work with. One does not even bother to do any work and hence the other will off-load everything on to me.

Thursday was the most distressing day at work for me. My manager sent me to two meetings for Thursday morning citing ‘I am taking my wife to the hospital’ to the chairperson of the meetings while to his own manager, ‘I am sorting out my nanny’s visa’. Both times I was copied in the emails. WTF. What was he playing at? Two different stories to two different senior management and carbon copied me in as well. He must think I’m so dim to not be able to put two and two together. I suspect he forgot what he sent out earlier and all he wanted was probably a lie-in because he couldn’t be bothered to get in for the 8.30 am meeting. And why did he have to send me in as his representative? Why? As it is I had a million other things to do, top priority being rcsa.

To add salt to injury, he came in at 1 pm, interrupted my lunch, this was me ‘stabbing’ my pasta at my desk, to ask for some assistance in drawing excel charts for, get this, his *schoolwork* (he is undergoing a part time Masters course), not even proper office work. Can you even begin to comprehend all this? He interrupts my lunch for his own personal work. How unbelievably outrageous is that?

I was fuming and I’m sure smoke was billowing out of my ears by then. In between gritted teeth I *did* all that shit and still continued managing the tasks assigned to me.

That's just not it ok. Sorry but there is more gripe to 'share'.

There has been three resignations thus far in my team and due to the freeze we are not hiring new staff. As a result I have had to take on more responsibilities covering for the three jokers who left. I mean it is not like I don't have enough on my plate. They unload it on to me simply because I never utter a single word of complain. One day I will break down I'm sure but I think my limit is incredibly high. I somehow can withstand so much crap thanks to my first intense and highly stressful job in AA. My ex managers would be proud of what I've become; a true product of AA.

Sometimes I get so angry for not standing up for myself. I don’t know how to handle these situations, and as a result I get bullied not only by my own team, but even people from other business areas as well.

The thing is, I absolutely hate confrontations and will try my best to avoid it. Then there's the other concern that there's a big possibility of me breaking down and start tearing if I do decide to speak up and be heard about my dissatisfaction of the treatment I am getting from these slave drivers. As you can imagine I would not want my manager to see this, would I? Hell NO.

You see, I have problems controlling my emotions. I admit I am a weakling. Not the best of characters really. I get upset so easily and cry even more effortlessly. Sigh. All these undesirable characteristics bestowed upon me. I should have gone for more team building activities when I was a child huh.

Further more, I am a very idealistic person, as IK tells me, ‘They are not like you, you cannot expect them to behave the way you want them to’ in response to my ‘Why can’t they realise that it is not right and unacceptable, I would never do that to other people’ uproar.

I seriously believe in the idiom ‘do unto others as you would others do unto you’ and even more strongly on ‘what goes around comes around’. Sadly, just believing firmly in that does not get me very far. At the end of the day, I am the one who gets upset, stressed and exhausted. Not them, just me. Silly old stupid idealistic karma-believing me.

It is a sad reality but I think everyone at work bullies me and takes me for a fool who will do everything they tell me to. I don’t know why this happens to me. I try to be nice to everyone, always remember not to step on anyone's toes, mind my own business and expect the same from them but instead I get trampled on mercilessly. Big fat sigh.

This is how I keep my sanity and I reassure myself constantly with these in mind:

• that God will not test you if he does not think you can handle it.


• that you cannot have a perfect life (not that mine is), something has to go wrong somewhere in order to keep you challenged, keep your feet firmly on the ground and be more appreciative of other aspects in life.

I seriously need to learn to be more firm and stand my ground, to speak up if I am overwhelmed and to learn to set my boundaries and limits. Until then I think I will always face this problem, no matter where I work. And poor IK , bless his cotton socks, he is the one who has to bear with my endless bitching about the grief I get from work.

OK enough whining, the work will not clear itself or dissappear. I am off to the office now. Have a great weekend peeps.